


Just Another Girl

by alexisntedgy



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Ableism, Adorable, Autism Spectrum, Autistic 2D, Autistic Stuart Pot, Canon Queer Character, Canon Queer Character of Color, Don't worry sksksk she's a dick, F/F, Family Angst, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gayrillaz, Gen, Google Translated Japanese, He's very overprotective, It's for like one chapter and isn't really brought up again, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Author, Minor Original Character(s), Murdoc beats up like six people in this, Non-Binary Author, Noodle/original female character, Pansexual Character, Pansexual Noodle, Phase One (Gorillaz), Phase Two (Gorillaz), Phase one fluff, Phase two fluff, Protective Murdoc Niccals, She's a wlw, The original character is a transphobic interviewer, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Noodle (Gorillaz), Transphobia, ableist slurs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2020-04-23 10:01:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19148779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexisntedgy/pseuds/alexisntedgy
Summary: Noodle is a girl. She knows that. The only problem is, the rest of the world doesn't know it.Rated T for MurdocBasically just trans Noodle. I love her she's gr8 :))





	1. All My Life

**Author's Note:**

> TW for accidental misgendering BC she isn't out yet. Also mentions of gender dysphoria. 
> 
> Short first chapter because this was written randomly and I had no idea I would be writing more!! Also 2D is written as autistic in this but it's not explicitly stated

All her life, Noodle had considered herself as just another girl. She liked her hair long, her skin soft and her eyelashes big, like all the other little girls she knew. 

The only problem was, nobody else saw Noodle as a girl. 

When she had arrived in her FedEx crate, guitar ready, she was dressed in a slightly oversized boy's t-shirt, with denim shorts underneath. She smiled up at the three confused men staring down at her, before giving a fantastic guitar solo. "Wow, he's brilliant, in'he, mudz?" 2D had exclaimed. Murdoc had nodded in agreement, clearly thinking about the band. 

The first time noodle had went clothes shopping with her new family, they'd taken her to the boy's section. She'd looked around at all the boring t-shirts and shorts, with their ultra-masculine slogans and careless designs. She wouldn't have admitted it at the time, but she kept staring over into the little girl's section-at the pretty dresses, the flowy skirts, the cool cropped shirts. She longed to wear them, to feel like all the other girls-but noodle wasn't like all the other girls, and she was reminded of it every day. 

When she saw herself on the news, they would talk about how talented the "little boy from Gorillaz" was. When her bandmates talked to her, they'd call her "he". They had no idea that noodle wasn't a "he" at all, and she was growing sick of it. So, sitting in her bedroom, she decided it was time to tell them. 

She went through her options-calling a band meeting and telling them all at once, telling them one by one, or writing a letter. 

In the end, she decided on the "one-by-one" method. That way, if the first person she told didn't accept her, at least she hadn't told a whole bunch of potentially ignorant people.   
2D was probably the least likely to be mean to her about it, so the eleven year old decided to tell him first, then Russel, then-god forbid-Murdoc. 

Noodle didn't exactly have a word to describe what she was feeling-but one thing she knew for sure is that she was a girl, not a boy like everyone keeps saying. But girls who people think are boys aren't normal, or at least that's what Noodle has heard. She knew there was an English word for it, but it certainly wasn't one she had learnt yet-so she would just make do with "I am a girl". 

Noodle fell asleep that night, a plan in her head to lure 2D into her room with the excuse of needing help with some chords, and then tell him.


	2. We got the power (to be loving each other no matter what happens)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noodle comes out to 2D.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooooh Noodle is ready to come the heck out, also I'm vv soft for 2D
> 
> TW: gender dysphoria (obvs), brief mentions of transphobia

Noodle woke up ridiculously nervous the next morning. She was starting to doubt her idea-what if 2D just hated her? What if he didn't understand? What if he just kicked her out for being a weirdo?

The girl moved her duvet off herself and went into one of the many bathrooms in Kong studios. There, she brushed her hair, blinked her eyes at the mirror in the most feminine way she could, then took the lip gloss she hid in the third draw down, under the sink. She'd gotten it from one of murdoc's "lady visitors" a while back, and often put it on in the spare bathroom that was basically hers, since no-one else ever used it. 

She covered her lips in the shiny stuff evenly, looking at herself in the mirror. She flicked her just-above-shoulder-length hair that she refused to have cut and made a kissing motion with her lips. If she squinted, she looked like just another girl. Just another girl in dark blue Bob the Builder pajamas, just another girl who everybody called a boy. 

As Noodle stared into the mirror that morning, she knew she couldn't hide anymore. She was doing the right thing. 

She had a shower, washing off the lip gloss. She put on her shorts and t-shirt before running downstairs for breakfast, which was always served by Russel. 

"Russ!!" The girl squealed as she ran into the kitchen. "Hey, Noods!" The man smiled at her endearingly. "The usual?" He said with an amused smile on his face. Noodle nodded enthusiastically. "Pancakes, Russel-san!" Russel shook his head, still smiling. "Pancakes it is." 

Noodle sat on her chair, swinging her legs. Russel talked about something he'd seen on tv last night-Noodle wasn't really listening, but she nodded along anyway. She could only understand parts of what he was saying, after all. 

You really wouldn't have guessed that Noodle was incredibly nervous inside. Her thoughts were racing with (mostly negative) reactions to what she was going to admit today. Images of her being kicked out, yelled at, even if she knew deep inside that her bandmates would never do that to her. 

Noodle's thoughts were interrupted when Russel put her plate in front of her. "Eat up, kid." Noodle nodded and grinned hungrily. She started eating her pancakes, babbling to Russel in Japanese. Russel smiled and nodded, despite having no clue what the hell she was on about. This was nice, and Noodle didn't want to lose it by telling them who she truly was. 

\-----------------------

It was exactly 2pm. 2D had woken up a while ago, and Noodle was ready to pounce. She sat in her bedroom, fiddling with the sleeves of her oversized, almost dress-like brown jacket. She took a deep breath and counted to three (in Japanese, of course) before calling out: 

"2D-san!! Come! Come!"

She waited until she heard footsteps coming towards her room. They stopped outside her door, before the handle turned and 2D stepped inside. "Hey, Noods, Wassu-"

"I need to...to tell you a thing." Noodle said, nearly shaking with nerves. The language barrier wasn't going to make this any easier, but hey, she'd try. 2D, seemingly sensing Noodle's nerves, sat down on her bed beside her. "Yeah, of course, Noods." Noodle looked up at 2D's jet-black eyes. "It's...hard. to say. Don't know how...to word." 2D nodded. "That's alrigh'! I have trouble wordin' sometimes too." He smiled at her. 

Noodle gathered her thoughts, turned them into words, and said: "you know how...how everybody says...I'm a boy?" 

2D nodded in response. 

"I..I'm not. I am a girl." The words slipped off her tongue. The words she had said so many times alone in her room, or into the mirror. The words she'd pictured herself saying to 2D for a while now. 

2D didn't say anything for a moment. "So you're a girl, then? You like to be called "she"?" Noodle nodded in response, looking down. 2D hadn't revealed any intense emotions in his voice, so maybe he wasn't angry at her. No, it was too early to hope for that. 

"Alrigh' then. That's cool. Thanks for tellin' me." 

Noodle didn't know what she had been expecting exactly, but it wasn't that. "You... No angry?" 2D shook his head. "Nah. I could never be angry at my little girl, now, could I?" He said, like he didn't think any differently of Noodle. Noodle smiled at the use of the term "little girl." She was 2D's "little girl." She liked that. 

"Am I the only person you've told, then?" Noodle nodded again. "Gotta tell Russ, and Murdoc-san." 2D nodded in agreement. "If ya want to. I can help ya tell 'em." Noodle smiled at 2D and held her arms out for a hug. He obliged. "Also, does this mean I can't talk to ya about the footy?" Noodle burst out laughing at the fact that that was his biggest concern. She smiled into his chest. How had she thought this would go any different?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awwwwwwww wholesome!!!!!!
> 
> I debated putting trans 2D in this but decided against it bc I wanted to focus on Noodle. That being said, Murdoc's definitely bi and that might come up at some point


	3. In A Bag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry about the title
> 
> Noodle and 2D explore the mysteries of hair clips and nail polish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be prepared for the incoming fluff
> 
> It's a-comin'
> 
> Also I'm really, genuinely sorry that I called this chapter "In A Bag"
> 
> But to be fair, there is a bag :))

It had been a couple of weeks since Noodle came out to 2D, and she still hadn't told the others. 2D said she could take her time and tell them when she's ready, which was good. Noodle still felt like she was hiding a bit, but it helped when 2D called her she when no-one else was around. 

On this particular day, 2D and Noodle were sitting on the floor in the latter's bedroom. 2D had locked the door and was excitedly hiding something behind his back, and Noodle was looking up at the man confusedly. 

"Alrigh', so, I wen' to the shops the other day-just the little shoppin' centre down the road-and got some little girly things for ya." He pulled out a bag from behind his back. He held it open for noodle to look into-it was filled with Nail Polishes and Lip balms, butterfly hair clips and other assorted cosmetics. Noodle's face lit up-this was what the girls on tv wore! This was what the other little girls her age on the playground wore, with their hair tied back and big smiles on their faces. 

"Oh, Toochi!! Arigato!" She continued to babble on in excitement, looking through the bag. "If muds finds it, I'll tell 'im it's mine." Noodle nodded, not really thinking about that. Noodle pulled out a packet of multicoloured butterfly clips and opened them, struggling a little to break through the tough plastic. She ended up using her teeth to rip it, spilling the clips onto the floor. She held up the clips to 2D. "Look, Toochi! Butterfly!"

2D smiles. "Yeah, Noods! Want me ta put it in ya hair for ya?" Noodle nodded enthusiastically, her smile unfading. 2D took a clip from Noodle's hand, then took a piece of her hair and pushed it backwards, clipping it in place. He did the same with the other side. It was clear he didn't really know what he was doing, but he was trying his best. 

Next, Noodle pulled out one of the lip balms-this one was cotton candy scented, in bright pink packaging. "See, I got ya these, because when you're wearin' em', your lips look the same, but you know you're wearin' it!" Noodle smiled at the man. "Thank you, Toochi!" The man smiled back, clearly pleased with his decision. 

Noodle took the lid off of the lip balm and slathered it on. It smelt sweet. She quickly pulled out the next thing in the bag; nail polish. She looked up at 2D. "You paint me?" The man smiled and replied with a simple "sure, I can try!".

2D opened the bottle and carefully painted each of Noodle's fingers. When he got to he second one, he broke the silence by saying "So, have ya thought abou' tellin' the others yet?" Noodle nodded. "I am ready soon." 

2D looked at her. "Ya know they'll be alrigh' about it, right Noods?" Noodle looked uncertain. She didn't know, at least not for sure. "The other day, right, there was a transgender lady on the telly show Murdoc was watchin', and he said "good on her" and then changed the channel. That's not bad!"

Noodle had to agree, that was a fantastic reaction by murdoc's standards. But murdoc was slightly erratic and rather unpredictable, so she was still nervous. 

"And Russel, Noods, he bloody loves ya, doesn't he? Nothing could change how he feels about ya, especially not you tellin' him the truth about who ya are." 2D rocked in his seated position, poking his tongue out to the side in concentration as he tried not to mess up Noodle's nails. 

2D was correct on that front as well. Noodle knew that Russel cared about her, and that he most likely wouldn't care what her gender was. "...Okay. I tell them. This afternoon?" 2D paused his painting and looked up at the girl. "If you're ready ta'." Noodle nodded determinedly. "I am". 2D gave a toothy grin. "Alrigh' then!"

2D stopped painting and sighed happily. "Tada!" He exclaimed. "Perfect nails!" Noodle smiled, staring at her colourful fingers. They were now a bright shade of orange that Murdoc would probably describe as headache-inducing. 2D had done a decent job, she had to admit. He only went outside the edges a couple of times, and that could be easily washed off after it was dry. "Arigato!" 

"Ah, that's all good, Noodle. Now, I'll put yer bag of stuff under yer bed, n' you can get it out when ya want." Noodle nodded. "Once the others know, I'm sure we'll be able to go shoppin' and get ya some clothes. Ya like dresses?" Noodle's face lit up for what must've been the 500th time that day. "I do, I do! Pretty, Flowy." 2D laughed. "Yeah, I like em' too. We'll get ya some of those, eh?" Noodle smiled. "Yes please, Toochi. Thank you." 

"It's alrigh', I just want ya to be happy."


	4. It's comin' up, it's comin' up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noodle FINALLY comes out
> 
> Rams down that closet door 
> 
> Woohoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooooooooh it's time

12 pm. 

It was officially "that afternoon". 

Noodle was ready, or that's what she kept telling herself. She's ready to tell them, she is. But despite what 2D had said earlier that day, she was still nervous. 

She had called a band meeting (something Murdoc hated other people doing; He was the band leader, so he and only he should call the meetings) and was waiting for them to meet her and 2D downstairs. 

She heard the clickity-clack of Murdoc's expensive boots on the floor, getting closer, like a villain in a horror movie. With each step her nerves rose. She looked up at 2D, who was staring absent-minddedly out of a window. She often wondered what he thought about while he did that. Murdoc had told her that 2D thought about nothing, but she didn't think that was true. His eyes always looked distant, but concentrated. 

Finally, the door opened, and both Noodle and 2D snapped out of thought. Murdoc waltzed in and sat down on the couch, spreading his legs out like a king on a throne. Russel followed, sitting tiredly next to Murdoc. 

Noodle was nervous, but if she could fight zombie gorillas, she could come out to her bandmates. 

"Bloody band meetings, band meeting my ass crack. Only a band meeting if I call it, ay." Murdoc mumbled under his breath. Russel rolled his eyes at the man, who was now taking a rather long sip from his beer bottle. 

"Attention, fellow members of Gorillaz!" Noodle called out. Russel looked up and smiled at her. Murdoc looked up as well, with significantly less enthusiasm. 

"You all...call me boy! I am not boy! That is that!" Murdoc stared confusedly. "Eh? What're you on about?" He took another swig from his bottle as Russel asked gently "Could you rephrase that, Noods?" 

"I. Am. A. Girl." 

Murdoc spat out his drink in suprise before pausing all movement. "...Actually, that makes alot of sense." The rather intoxicated man admitted. Russel smiled and hugged Noodle. "I'm proud of you for telling me, love." 

2D had been standing, smiling proudly at Noodle the whole time. He finally spoke up, "I knew because she told me a couple weeks ago, bu' she decided it was time for all of us ter know." Murdoc nodded. "Well, I accept ya." He said. "Certainly not the most surprising thing you've done ta me, now is it? I'd say coming outta that box has to top the bloody list." 

Noodle giggled. "Ah. Thank you, Murdoc-san. The box was a big surprise." Russel giggled. "And so was the little girl who came in it!" He exclaimed, prompting Noodle to smile and hug him. 

"Well, if that's all, I'll get back to my extremely important business." Murdoc said. He clearly didn't care if that was all or not, as he stood before anyone could say anything else. He was out the door before Noodle had even started saying goodbye. But in all honesty, that was the best response she could have hoped for in terms of murdoc. "I accept you." She hadn't known how much she needed to hear those words until just now.

Russel spoke up. "Do you want the public to know? Cause' right now they're callin' you the little boy from Gorillaz, but we know now that you ain't." Noodle didn't answer for a second. She hadn't thought about the public, or the press. Not really. "You don't have ta if you don't want ta, Noods." 2D chimed in. 

"No, I'm ready to tell people."

\--------------------------------------------------  
Soon enough, it was common knowledge that Noodle was a girl, not a boy. She corrected anyone, whether it be an interviewer or the lady at the front desk of the doctor's office, on her gender. Apart from that, her being trans really didn't come up much- Murdoc sometimes made jokes about it, but it was all in good fun and she really didn't mind. 

The 11 year old finally felt like just another girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!
> 
> I know the ending is really cheesy but .... I'm really cheesy so,,,


	5. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I'll pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noodle gets clothes!!!! Wholesome fluff!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hullo!! This chapter is really fluffy but they're about to get real angsty. I'll add trigger warnings for the more angsty ones. 
> 
> Also I'm drawing a portrait of trans pansexual noodle bc I love her so much.

Noodle was sitting on the island counter in the kitchen, teetering dangerously on the edge in a way that was making Russel cringe. She smiled innocently over at him, and he gave a half-hearted grimace back. 

Noodle was holding onto her porridge with both of her hands, the hot bowl against her denim shorts. Since coming out, the band had started calling her "she", and that made Noodle very happy. But she still wore "boy's clothes", and she didn't like that at all. 

That's why today, the Gorillaz were going to brave their biggest challenge yet: The girl's clothing section. 

Murdoc was wondering around shirtless, and pant-less as well actually. His boxers were an obnoxious shade of bright purple, which contrasted greatly against his pale, sickly-looking skin. He took a long sip of his coffee, before hopping up onto the island next to Noodle. 

"If there's one thing I bloody hate, it's the media." The man sighed, looking towards the tv, on which the news was playing. "Noodle, the little boy from Gorillaz, suddenly thinks he is a girl-" Murdoc changed the channel, and Noodle frowned. "I have always been a girl. Orokana media wa karera ga nani ni tsuite hanashite iru no ka wakaranai!" 

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Murdoc said. "Oi, Noodle, pass us that pack of fags, eh?" Russel frowned. "She's eleven, man." Murdoc ignored the younger man as Noodle passed him the packet. He took out a cigarette and looked in his pocket for a lighter, muttering curses towards the media under his breath. 

Noodle hopped off the counter and put her bowl in the already-over-flowing sink. As the bowl clattered into the metal, 2D came down the stairs, looking a complete mess. 

His bed hair was absolutely terrible, and highlighted by his hair's rather noticeable hue. "Can I 'ave a tea, Russ?" Russel nodded, and put the kettle on. "Mornin', faceache. I expect you've forgotten 'bout today's mission, then?" Murdoc said. 2D rolled his eyes. "We talked abou' it all of yesterday, o' course I remember what we're doin' Muds."

Noodle jumped up and down as she loudly proclaimed: "My clothes! My clothes! Kawaī doresu to kawaī sukāto, soshite torimingu sa reta tīshatsu! Tanoshi-sō!" 2D gave Noodle a weak thumbs up as the kettle started screeching. 

Noodle knew that her clothes weren't what made her a girl, but alot of people thought that she was a boy because of her current wardrobe. Also, dresses are pretty. 

2D covered his ears and hummed to himself as the kettle came to a crescendo, before slowing down, then stopping. Russel poured the boiled water into 2D's favourite mug, before putting a mint tea bag in it and handing it to 2D. "There ya go, Stu." 

Murdoc had successfully found a channel on the tv that was, miraculously enough, child-appropriate, vaguely interesting and also not talking about them. Noodle sat on the lounge with Murdoc and started watching it. 

\------------------------------------------  
"Why did I ever agree to this?!" 

"To be fair, we did give you the opportunity to opt out." 

Murdoc and Russel had been bickering the whole way around the shopping centre. Noodle was growing sick of it, and they hadn't even reached a clothing store yet. She held onto 2D's hand and swung it as she walked beside him. They got a few stares from passersby, they were pretty famous after all. In a way, Noodle enjoyed the spotlight. 

"Uh-huh!" Noodle exclaimed as they passed a children's clothing shop. "Ya want ta go in that one?" Noodle nodded at 2D's question. "Alrigh' then." They glanced at Murdoc and Russel, who were still mouthing each other off by the Tesco. "Just us?" Noodle asked, her face twisted into slight concern. "Nah, they came all this way, they'd betta come in wid' us." 

Noodle smiled and called out: "Russel-san! Murdoc-san! We found a shop! Come, come!" 

The two men came over, Murdoc grumbling all the way. "Wow, this seems like a pretty cool shop!" Russel said. Noodle nodded in agreement. There was two sides of the shop; one that sold feminine clothes and the other masculine. She took Russel's hand and pulled him in. 

"Oi, Russ, Noods, look at this!" 2D said. They looked over to see 2D with a much-too-small for him shirt on his head, grinning madly. Russel smacked the top of his head. "Stop makin' us look stupid, man!" 2D grinned and took the shirt off his head. 

The first item of clothing Noodle decided to get was a dress with a pink top and red-ish skirt. She tried it on, walking out of the changing room and giving a twirl. Russel and 2D clapped, and Murdoc grunted in approval. Noodle went back in and took it off, then slung it over Murdoc's arm for him to hold. "I get that one." 

Next, she found a long red coat and matching red shorts. Russel helped her button it up, then she came out, twirled, gave a karate kick and said "Kore, otokonoko." 

2D wondered around the shop, gathering a small collection of socks, knickers and pajamas. He came back and put them all on Murdoc's arm, which had apparently become the holder for Noodle's new wardrobe. 

Russel had found an assortment of t-shirts, skirts and shorts, all of which he showed Noodle to make sure they had her approval. The girl nodded or shook her head for each one. 

Noodle found many over-sized, punk-ish jackets with cool patches on them. They reminded her of 2D's blue jacket that she loved because of all it's fun zips. She chose five jackets. 

"Ya think that's enough, kid?" A nearly drowned-in-clothes Murdoc asked. Noodle looked at her haul, and nodded. That was certainly more clothes than the average 11-year-old needed. 

"Alright, let's buy these, then go get icecream!" Said Russel. Noodle and 2D whooped at the word icecream. Murdoc let a small smile slip onto his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phase one fluff is the content I live for
> 
> Why are you still reading this terrible fic?????
> 
> Thanks anyway tho 💗💗


	6. They're turning us into monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noodle deals with a transphobic interviewer. Please please read the notes for trigger warnings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks so much for all the love guys. I'm currently very sick, which isn't good because I have an immune disorder and other chronic illnesses, so I might be a bit less active with posting for a little while. 
> 
> This chapter has a transphobic interviewer, and has themes of transphobia and ableism. Trans folks are medicalised and outdated terms are used. 2D is the victim of ableism, the word "idiot" is used, nothing more severe than that. Noodle is repeatedly misgendered and attacked for her gender identity, so if that will trigger you, please don't read this. 
> 
> Also take note that this is set in 2001/2002, when trans people weren't as accepted. 
> 
> Stay safe 💗💗🌈

Noodle loved interviews. She hardly ever got to be interviewed, mostly because of her age. But interviews were fun for Noodle, and she always made the most of them. 

2D isn't great with interviews-he always talks about a random topic, or accidentally offends the interviewer. So he always got interviewed with another band member. This time, Noodle, 2D, and Murdoc were all being interviewed. Russel was sick as all hell, and had been asleep all day. Noodle had been playing with Del all morning, before Murdoc demanded everyone get in the Geep to drive to the interview. 

Noodle sang along to the radio as loudly as she could, 2D smiling at her as he joined her. Noodle couldn't understand all the words, but when she didn't know the lyrics, she hummed the tune. She smiled as Clint Eastwood started playing, and Murdoc turned up the radio. 2D started staring out the window, not singing along to his own song. Noodle made the guitar movements for the song with her hands, and hummed the chorus. 

Murdoc gave a terrible attempt at singing 2D's part, and the younger man cringed. Murdoc scowled when he saw his reaction, but didn't say anything. 

Finally, the car pulled to a stop, and Murdoc opened Noodle's door. She buttoned the top button on her red dress-coat-thing and fixed her hair up. 2D swayed slightly and fidgeted with his hands as he zipped up his jacket and they stepped into the administration area of the studio. 

The lady at the front desk greeted them. "Hullo, boys!" Noodle scowled. "Oh, right, sorry. Hullo, Gorillaz!" Noodle gave the woman a deadly side eye as she waited for Murdoc to sign some papers. The woman looked pretty intimidated by the tiny eleven-year-old. Then again, Murdoc was also being very cold to the woman. 2D, meanwhile, was rocking in a waiting room chair and humming a song under his breath, seemingly very interested in the fake plant next to him. 

Finally, Murdoc slapped the paperwork onto the woman's desk and an assistant opened a door to the left. The band walked through a few hallways before being led into a room equipped with several cameras and three labelled chairs facing another chair. Noodle sat on the chair with her name on it, and the others followed suit. 

The interviewer was a woman with dyed blonde highlights. She looked about 40, maybe a little older. She had a fake smile and definitely went heavy on the Botox. Noodle watched, entertained, at the woman's inability to move her face. 2D slapped her back lightly, whispering "Noods! Starin' is rude!" Murdoc chuckled quietly. 

"Hello." The woman started. "Okay, so we're going to start by introducing you all, saying what instruments you play and all that jazz." The band all nodded, 2D swinging his feet. "Then," the woman continued, "I'll be asking some questions about the album, touring, you get the jist." 

The woman counted to three under her breath and pointed at the cameras, which started rolling. Murdoc put on his signature "Dark, sexy on-camera face" and 2D gave the biggest fake smile he could. Noodle smiled at the biggest camera. 

"Hello, this is Samantha for Honey Morning Show. I'm here with three members of one of the biggest rising bands in the world right now, Gorillaz!" Noodle smiled and waved, 2D said "Hullo!" And Murdoc groaned in a way he probably thought looked cool. 

"Here today is Murdoc, who plays bass and is essentially the band's leader"-Murdoc nodded and grinned, clearly pleased at being acknowledged as the leader of Gorillaz, "2D, the lead singer and keyboardist, and Noodle, lead guitarist and back-up vocals." 

"Now, obviously, you are all basking in your new found fame- your debut album Gorillaz produced some pretty big hits". Murdoc nodded. "Yeah, but I always knew it'd be big. I've been prepared for years." 2D rolled his eyes subtly. "It's a bit strange, innit, cause I've neva' been noticed before. But now I have people comin' up to me in the street and asking me for autographs! I always draw a little love heart on the paper, because I love doin' autographs." The woman fake-smiled at 2D, before turning to look at Noodle. 

"How are you handling fame, Noodle? After all, you're only a little boy-Oh, sorry, I mean girl." She clearly did not mean girl, based off of the look she gave Noodle. This woman gave Noodle a bad vibe. Murdoc frowned. "Now, listen, if we're gonna have issues with little Noodle's gender here, I won't put up with it."

The woman rolled her eyes condescendingly. "Of course not. I'm being perfectly respectful." Murdoc made a noise and nodded, unconvinced. 

"Alright, anyway, my question was: how are you handling fame at such a young age, Noodle?" 

Noodle reluctantly answered. "It's...interesting. it's, um....面白い。たくさんの人がやってきて「こんにちは！」と言います。私には、私はそれらを知らないときでさえ."The interviewer nodded, despite almost certainly not understanding a word she had said. "Fascinating." 

She turned to the camera. "Now, little Noodle here recently came out as transsexual-" Murdoc frowned. "She's transgender. And quite frankly, I don't know what the bloody hell it has to do with our music." The interviewer gave her fakest smile yet. "Well, it must affect hi-her music in some way. Noodle is so young to be making such a decision." Noodle frowned angrily. "I didn't...decide. I am a girl." She repeated the words she had said so many times recently. 

The interviewer smiled condescendingly at Noodle, flicking her fake blonde hair. "But are you, Noodle?" 2D gave the woman a stare and put his arm around Noodle.

"I fink we should leave now, luv." Noodle shook her head, maintaining eye contact with the woman, as Murdoc and 2D made eye contact with each other. They were certainly very pissed off with the way the interviewer was talking about their little Noodle, but an angry Noodle was a dangerous Noodle. "Transgenderism can be dangerous, and the treatments can be dangerous." Murdoc was really pissed now, and Noodle could tell. 2D looked nervously at the camera men and wringed his hands.

"Alright, lady, you've had your fun. Now if you don't mind we're going to leave now." Murdoc said, getting out of his chair. Noodle started to follow suit, before the lady said "What a shame an innocent little boy has to live with a mentally disabled, drug-addicted idiot and a drunk. Of course he thinks he's a girl, living with people like you."

That was the last straw. Noodle hated being insulted, but insulting 2D? That was a step over the line. 

Noodle felt herself get picked up by murdoc as he started to walk out of the building. She escaped his grip and started screaming; "どうやってあえて！あなたは私たちをこのように扱う権利はありません、あなたは嫌な雌犬です！あなたは私、私のバンド、そして私のキャリアを失望させました。それは大丈夫ではありません！あなたは噛む！嫌悪感!"

By the time she had finished her rant, her cheeks were stained with tears and the interviewer looked shocked. She didn't say another word. Murdoc smirked at Noodle, who stood, breathing heavily. "And if you dare air this interview, our lawyers will be coming for your job." Murdoc stated calmly. 

2D, who had covered his ears with his hands during Noodle's outburst, now ran out of the room, followed by Murdoc and Noodle. Noodle walked past everyone in the hall with an unwavering determined expression, glaring at anyone who stared. 

"That's my girl." Murdoc whispered to her. Noodle let her tough face slip for a second to smile. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------  
On the drive home, Murdoc wouldn't stop talking about how awesome Noodle's rant was-"I didn't understand a bloody word of it, but it was fantastic!" 2D stayed quiet in the passenger seat. "Wasn't it brilliant, D?" Stu nodded vaguely. "You sure showed her, eh Noods?" Noodle nodded determinedly. 

But the truth was, that woman's words had hurt. And that night, lying in bed, she realised that the world just wasn't ready for people like her to be in the spotlight. And that was something Noodle intended to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love badass Noodle so much! The chapters will get a little darker as we move into phase two. I don't really have a planned out story for this fic as such, but I've written several chapters ahead of this one, so I've got a decent idea as to where it's going. 
> 
> Have a great day! 🌈


	7. You are my Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band talk medical transition for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is really short and really bad, but it's just a transition into phase two, so please don't take it too seriously! It's to represent Noodle starting to grow up.

Noodle was your average (ultra-famous) 14-year-old. She loved dancing, video games, singing and playing guitar. 

And Russel had called a meeting about her, without her. 

Noodle's mental health had gone downhill lately, and she had admitted to Russel that it was due to her fear of starting male puberty. Noodle was a late bloomer, but 14 was too old to not have any signs of puberty, and she was scared. The other girls her age were wearing bras and getting their periods, and Noodle had her first voice crack a couple weeks backs and now was too scared to sing. 

She'd told Russel she'd noticed signs, and she grimaced. She said she was uncomfortable, and that she didn't want to look like a boy. Russel had hugged her, and said he'd see if there was anything he could do. 

Turns out, there was. It wasn't really common practice, but you could block transgender teen's hormones to stop them from going through the wrong puberty. He'd asked a few doctors, who said she'd have to get refered to an endocrinologist, or a hormone doctor. 

Russel wasn't sure if the other guys in the band knew about Noodle's struggle, so he had called a meeting. Noodle was busy writing songs in her bedroom, and wouldn't be downstairs for a while. She had just finished her third song for the new album, and everyone was very impressed. She'd already written "DARE", which the whole band loved. 

"What the bloody 'ell are we down here for? Why couldn't we have this meeting in the livin' room instead of this fuckin' musty old room?" Murdoc complained. Russel rolled his eyes and sat on a dusty chair next to 2D. "Because we can't let Noodle hear this meeting, since it's about her." Murdoc perked up at that. "What about 'er?" 

Russel took a breath. "Noodle is worried about...starting the wrong puberty." Russel cringed, Murdoc did as well. 2D nodded, seemingly unaware that this was an awkward topic. "Makes sense, don't it? But is there really anyfink we can do?" Russel smiled. "Actually, there is. There's a medication that blocks a kid's hormones-stops 'em from going through puberty. After that, the kid can go on hormone replacement therapy-when they're older, of course." 

"That all sounds too fuckin' complicated. 'n we'd have to go to a soddin' doctor." Murdoc complained. 2D pulled a face. "Yeah, but can you imagine Noodle growin' a beard, though? She'd hate it!" The older man walked across the small room to a carton of beers that was probably decades old, pulling out and opening a can. "I hate to admit it, but you've got a point there, kid." He ruffled 2D's hair rather violently. 

Russel continued to explain how they'd access the blockers. 2D didn't really understand, but he just wanted Noodle to be happy, so he nodded along. Russel was in the middle of telling Murdoc about hormone replacement therapy when they all heard footsteps coming down the hall. 

The men went silent, and all got into a position that looked as innocent as possible, but it was too late. Noodle walked in, her back hair covering her eyes. "What's going on in here?" She looked around at the men. "Nothin', love." Murdoc said. "Wow, you really suck at lying. What have you guys been talking about?" Noodle said, plopping down onto the couch next to 2D. 

The men looked at each other, Russel smiling slightly. "Alright, sweetie. We've been talking about putting you on puberty blockers." Noodle's face went from one that radiated "I'm a cool teenager" to an uber-excited one. "Oh my god, really?!" Russel smiled at her excitement. 2D spoke up; "Of course, Luv. We reckon' it's for the best, and that it'll make ya happy." 

"Well no shi-" Russel glared at her, "I mean, of course! Oh my god, you guys, i-i don't know what to say." "Well, you can thank Russel, he was the one who told us about it. I don't even know what the fuck hormone blockers really are." 

Noodle rushed over to Russel, engulfing him in a hug. She pulled away and fistbumped the air, making a celebratory exclamation in Japanese. The hyperactive teen proceeded to dance around the room. 

2D giggled, and Russel laughed as well. Noodle was clearly very pleased. 

So, that was that. 

Blockers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The topics are going to keep getting more intense from here, and I am going to write about things like hate crimes, public transphobia, body dysphoria and other things that many trans people have to deal with. 
> 
> Really hope you guys keep reading this as it changes as a work-come for the phase one fluff, stay for the character development and angst?


	8. Murdoc Beats Ass™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TWs IN NOTES
> 
> Noodle thought her best friend loved her for who she was, but she was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some serious transphobic comments and frank talk about bodily anatomy in a transphobic way. There is also cursing and all-caps in one part. 
> 
> All TWs: Transphobia, Swearing, Betrayal (for fellow empaths out there who feel emotions too much), agressive misgendering, anxiety provoking situations
> 
> Please be careful reading this if you are also trans, or are triggered by any of the above things 💗💗💗💗

Noodle had never needed to go to school academically. She knew more than all of her bandmates combined thanks to her super-soldier training, and nobody ever really thought too much about it. 

But Noodle was a teenager now, and no matter how incredible a teenager is, they still want friends. To be liked, to have someone to talk to, to flirt and chat. But she never really had any of that. Between band stuff and her own adventures, she never really had time for friends. 

While she was in Japan, she'd made her first real friend. A young girl a year older than her, with dark brown hair down to her waist. Her name was Mei, and she was the most wonderful person Noodle had ever met. Noodle would be lying if she said her feelings for her friend were completely platonic, but they were never anything more than that: just friends. 

Noodle's feelings for Mei had grown so much while she'd been in Japan, and it had been heartbreaking for them to part, even if Mei still saw Noodle as just a friend. 

Noodle knew girls could like girls: Murdoc liked blokes, and had said that it was no different for ladies to like other ladies. And Noodle just so happened to like other girls. She liked boys as well. If she was completely honest, she didn't really care what gender her crush was-She liked people. 

But Mei was the one friend Noodle had ever had. And now that she was gone, Noodle was lonely once again. 

And she was making sure everybody knew it. 

"Murdoc! I'm bored!"

"Toochi, look! The other girls go to school!"

"Ru-uss! I wanna go to school too!"

She was pretty sure her band was getting the message. 

Noodle met a girl around her age at one of their shows. Her name was Amy, and she was a tall girl with bright green eyes and medium brown hair. She was pretty, but she didn't make Noodle feel the same way Mei had. 

Of course, Amy had been thrilled that Noodle had decided to be her friend. She had come to their concert with a Gorillaz t-shirt, and left with Noodle's phone number and a wristband. Noodle invited Amy over the next weekend, and together they roamed the halls of Kong, finding all the mysterious nooks and crannies. 

The fact that Noodle was transgender never really came up, even though it was a well-publicised fact. Noodle was on puberty blockers now, she felt like all the other girls her age, so they never really talked about her transness. 

Until one day, when Noodle and Amy were together in a small, cramped library room they'd found in the depths of Kong, Amy brought it up. "So you're a dude, right?" She took a piece of her long hair and twirled it around her finger. Noodle frowned. Amy had never said anything like that before. 

"Of course not, I'm a girl." Noodle replied, now biting her lip in slight anxiety. She quickly came up with an escape plan in case this conversation went badly; she'd run back down the hallway they'd came from and straight into Russel's bedroom two floors down. 

Amy raised her eyebrows. "Not really, though. You ain't got tits, right?" Noodle looked down. She didn't. She was alright with that, she thought. "Didn't think so. That means you're a dude, then?" 

Noodle stayed quiet. 

"So you've got a dick?"

Noodle felt tears start stinging her eyes and bit her lip harder. Amy stood up and bent over the sitting Noodle. "If you've got a dick, you ain't a girl, Noods. That just ain't how it works." 

Noodle felt the tears spill over. If anybody else had said something like that to her, she would've kicked their ass, but this was Amy. Her first friend in England. And the words she was pretty used to hearing from people on the telly just hurt so much more when they came from Amy's mouth. 

"Boys don't cry, Noodle."

Noodle stood up quickly at that and ran out of the room, down the corridor and into the elevator. She dried her eyes with her shirt even though she was still crying, her shirt quickly developing damp patches. 

The elevator went down, and her stomach with it. She felt sick and sad. Her only friend, her only piece of normalcy in her insane life, had been ripped away from her by a few words. Someone she thought she could trust only talked to her because she was famous. And to Amy, she was a famous boy. 

She really should've known. 

Noodle ran out of the elevator when it finally stopped with a jolt, passing the weird pictures on the walls of the hallway. Everything was a blur, tears still spilling over. She kept repeating Amy's words. Amy, who was still in her house, two floors above her. 

She finally made it to Russel's door, knocking politely. She sniffled as she waited for him to answer. "Yes?" She finally heard. Noodle opened the door, and stood in Russel's room silently. 

The man's face changed from placid to concerned when he saw the tears staining Noodle's face. "Hey, what's wrong, baby girl?" Noodle said nothing, just putting her arms around Russel and sobbing. He returned the hug, patting her back. "There, there." 

Noodle cried into Russel's t-shirt until it was wet, and until her sobbing finally turned to sniffling. Russel held her until she pulled back. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

Noodle looked into his big, white eyes and choked out "A-a-amy thinks I-I'm a b-boy." Russel frowned. "That ain't right, baby. You know you ain't. It's not up for her to decide, alright?" Noodle just let out another choked cry. "I-I'm stupid, Russ. I shouldn't have thought she actually wanted to b-be my friend."

Russel shook his head. "Nah. She's...well. She's what murdoc would call a bitch. I would say undereducated and downright rude." Noodle giggled at that, smiling slightly. 

"Listen, Noodle. Being different doesn't make you stupid, or weird, or anythin' else people might call you. You're you, alright? And that's enough." Noodle wiped her nose and scoffed. "Nice speech, Russel-san." Russel rolled his eyes. "So, where did Amy go?" 

"Well..."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Ten minutes later, the fourth floor of Kong studios was filled with the shouting of a very angry man who was using some very...fruitful language. Noodle and Russel watched as Murdoc cursed the 14-year-old to hell and back (not literally, thankfully). 

"NOW LISTEN HERE, MISSY. IF YOU'VE GOT PROBLEMS WITH OUR NOODLE, YOU CAN TAKE IT UP WITH ME. I'M THE BOSS AROUND HERE, AND I WON'T PUT UP WITH NO BITCHY LITTLE BULLIES IN MY STUDIOS. ESPECIALLY NOT IF THEY'RE BEIN' RUDE TO NOODLE. SO, YOU, QUITE FRANKLY CAN FUCK OFF BACK TO THE HOLE YOU CRAWLED OUT OF!" 

Amy had ran down the emergency staircase and escaped about halfway through that speech, glaring at Noodle as she walked past her. Noodle had smiled in the most fake-polite way she could, and waved. Russel was cringing at Murdoc's language, but he had a hint of a smile on his face. 

Murdoc stood proudly as he watched the girl run down the road, staring out the window and muttering curse words under his breath.  
"Doubt she'll be comin' back around 'ere any time soon." He said when he noticed two of his bandmates standing behind him. 

 

Noodle had just learnt another lesson: She couldn't trust anyone. Not anyone outside the band, at least. People will always judge her based off of what's between her legs, and not who she actually is, and that's a tough lesson to learn at 14. 

But she can handle that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character development!! The next chapter is going to be much fluffier, I promise. Also I love writing Dad Russel™ and Protective Russel™


	9. Protesters Protesting Stupid Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some unexpected visitors to a Gorillaz show. 
> 
> Trigger warnings in notes, as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs: Heavier than usual cursing, Transphobic language, misgendering, use of the F slur, general nastiness

It was five o’clock in the morning, and a certain teenager had been up for much, much longer before the clock by the uncomfortable hotel bed finally hit five. She sighed and rolled over into her pillow. Another day, another show, another huge crowd of cheering fans. Things other girls her age dream of, would die for, even. And Noodle loves it, she really, truly does. She loves hearing the crowd sing along to songs she wrote, she loves taking control when they play Dare, she loves the booming noise and the atmosphere. She had even become fond of the stranger things that made a Gorillaz show, well, a very unique experience; coaxing 2D on stage, the crowd cheering whenever Murdoc did one of his disgusting hip-thrusting dance moves, the smell of sweat and the sound of shoes against the stage floor. Performing was something Noodle thoroughly enjoyed. 

But lately, Noodle had felt more subconscious about the way she looked on stage. The news, the fans, everybody, actually, seemed to think they had the right to know so much about her. The more conservative news channels really loved pointing out her flat chest, more masculine-shaped face and curve-less body, which Noodle thought was really creepy. She’s 15, for god’s sake! Why do people care what she looks like? 

She soon realised that the media were more interested in the details of her transition. They hid under the guise of “child safety concerns”, although Noodle was pretty sure none of them actually gave a damn about her safety. Nobody cared where she was while she was in Japan, or when she first started living at Kong, which was certainly not a child-friendly place. The male news reporters would make weird comments about her all the time, saying she’s “too old to not, well, be more developed, you know.” Noodle did know, and she thought that it was, frankly, none of his goddamn business. Murdoc had already attempted to file lawsuits with a couple of particularly crude media personalities, but people kept talking about her. 

It wasn’t fair. Just because she’s famous AND a trans girl doesn’t mean everybody has the rights to intimate details about her life. It made her feel like absolute shit. She was fed up. 

Noodle stared at the light piercing through the blinds of the balcony. The amount of hotels the band had been staying at lately was ridiculous, in all honesty. She’d forgotten how exhausting touring was. Waking up in a new place everyday, staring out at a new city, getting ready for shows. Today they had a show, as per usual. 

Noodle carefully climbed out of the top bunk bed she had slept on, and tip-toed to the balcony, trying not to wake a certain blue-haired singer still asleep on the bottom bunk. She opened the blinds, then the door, and stared out at New York City in all of it’s slightly dingy but none-the-less impressive glory. The balcony was tiny, and the floor was caked in some kind of grime, but hey, at least the view was nice. Surely, with all the records they sold and shows they played, they could afford a better hotel than this. It had three bedrooms, two adult and one kids. Of course, her and 2D had been lumped into the kids room. 

She walked back into the bedroom and made her way to the door that lead to the kitchen and lounge-room. Noodle sighed tiredly as she put the kettle on, grabbing a packet of cheap hotel tea and a tea-stained mug. The kettle was obnoxiously loud, and managed to wake up 2D, who stumbled into the room. “Mornin’, Noods.” He said, sitting down on the questionably-stained couch. He put his feet up on the coffee table and picked up the TV remote, turning it to the news. 

Noodle watched the news with 2D as the kettle boiled, international TV had always interested Noodle. American news seemed so much more...superficial. Instead of actual news, it was gossip about celebrities and badly hidden adverts for products. She laughed as a woman attempted to report on a new building in the city while it was pouring down with rain. The umbrella-less woman pulled her coat further over her head and 2D giggled lightly. Noodle smiled. 

Finally, the kettle boiled, and Noodle poured the water into her mug. “You want tea, D?” She asked politely. 2D nodded in response, spreading further out on the couch. “Yeah, thanks Noods.” Noodle nodded and grabbed another mug from the cupboard, before pouring water into that one too. She plopped two tea bags into their mugs, adding a splash of milk to 2D’s and milk and sugar to hers. She carried the mugs carefully to the couch. 

“Big show today, hey D?” Noodle said, sipping her tea. 2D nodded. “Yeh’, New York is pretty big, innit.” Noodle held back a laugh at his immense understatement. “It is huge!” She stretched her arms out for emphasis and smiled.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

Four hours had passed since that relatively peaceful morning, and now, the band had made their way into a ridiculously posh car and were on their way to the venue. Murdoc was on his second bottle of some strong-smelling alcohol, and 2D had taken quite a few of his painkillers. Noodle watched as 2D stared absently out of the car window, his head leaning on Murdoc’s shoulder slightly, and laughed softly to herself at Russel falling asleep in the front passenger seat. 

Sometimes it just hit her, how bizarre and abnormal her life was. She’d been raised by the strangest people, but she was turning out alright, somehow. 

The car swerved suddenly, as a loud noise erupted through the air. Russel woke up instantly, and 2D became alert. Murdoc let out a “What the bloody hell was that?” And the driver swore. Noodle looked around, but the tinted windows weren’t revealing anything. She could see the venue, they were just outside it, but where the disturbance came from, she had no cl-

Oh. Protesters. 

At a Gorillaz show. 

A rather sizeable group of people, mostly middle-aged white people, were stood outside the huge New York venue, holding all kinds of signs. All of them had some variation of anti-trans rhetoric scrawled on them, some more aggressive than others.

“Gorillaz or Child Abusers?” Read one. “Gorillaz=Faggots!” Read another. Others had Noodle’s name on them. “Noodle: Confused Young Man, Nothing More!” 

Noodle’s eyes filled with tears, more out of pity for the people’s ignorance than anything. Murdoc growled deeply, and 2D stared at the protesters, slightly slack-jawed. Russel, meanwhile, was already halfway across the street, much to the dismay of several security guards. Noodle tried to roll down her window to get a closer look at whatever was about to go down, but Murdoc pulled her arm back sharply. “Don’t be stupid, kid.” She frowned at the green man, but obeyed. She pushed her face up to the window, and listened closely. 

She could hear the muffled sound of Russel yelling at the protesters, and the occasional voice of a protester attempting to talk back. 2D was also watching from his spot next to Noodle, staring through Noodle’s window. “So mean.” He muttered, and Noodle agreed silently. 

The tears in her eyes started to flow down her cheeks as she read more signs, and suddenly screaming filled the area. A protester had attempted to psychically attack Russel, and others were running towards the car. Noodle ducked behind the window, and heard Murdoc swear. She pulled 2D down with her, and the man put his hands over his head. She could hear people banging the car, and several police officers and security guards trying to keep the protesters away, and the car door opened for a millisecond. 

“Muds, no!” 2D yelled as Murdoc stepped into the crowd. It was too late. Now Murdoc’s angered shouting was added to the mix of sounds. The police were fighting the protesters off, and were now also trying to seperate Murdoc from the protesters. Noodle peeked her head back to the window and watched as Murdoc took a sign that proudly proclaimed: “Gorillaz are sinners!” In capital letters, and stomped on it violently. “Fuck yeah, we are!” He screamed loud enough for Noodle to hear. She smirked, that was so Murdoc. 2D, meanwhile, cringed, ducked and covered his ears. 

Eventually, the police cleared the crowds and arrested the protesters. Unfortunately, Murdoc and Russel ended up getting arrested as well, due to their...direct involvement in the incident. By that, I mean beating up several protesters. Russel had grumbled as he was put in a cop car, and Murdoc had loudly protested. “We’re the bloody VICTIMS here!” He proclaimed. Noodle had to agree. 

Noodle was now stuck with a rather overwhelmed 2D, who was rocking back and forth slowly, humming a song under his breath. The driver remained in his driving seat, looking quite flustered. Noodle sighed. With Russel and Murdoc being driven away in a cop car, she would have to take control of this situation. 

“We are not going to do the show, okay, Toochi?” She said, a little slow since he seemed overwhelmed. 2D nodded.”Ye-yeah, Noods, that’s a good idea. Tha’ was all”-He waved his hands around his head-“A bi’ much.” Noodle nodded. “Yeah.” She turned to the driver and pushed her hair back a little. “Um-Sir-I’ll go talk to the venue people, Can you wait here and keep an eye on D?” The driver turned around in his seat, still as confused as he was a minute ago. “Yeah, sure, luv, I’ll be here.” 

With that, Noodle opened her car door and stepped into the now-empty band entry area. No doubt the crowd would start filling up soon, so she’d better hurry up and tell someone the show had been called off. The teen walked up to two security guards. “Hullo. I am Noodle, and I am the guitarist of Gorillaz, the band scheduled to play here tonight.” The guards looked at each other and laughed a little. “Yeah, kid, we know who ya’ are. We also saw all that stuff go down just then. In fact, we fought off those protesters a bit as well. Sorry ‘bout that. What d’ya need?” The guard on the left spoke in a heavy American accent, and had a bit of a glint in his eye. 

Noodle maintained a serious face. “I need to let the...manager know that the show is off.” The security guards laughed again and clapped Noodle on the shoulder. “You really don’t know what you’re doing, do ya?” The left security guard said. Noodle frowned. “I-I do, Just-Murdoc-san has left, well he was taken, and 2D, well he can’t really-“ The security guard on the right spoke this time. “hey, hey kid, he’s just playing around with ya. I’ll let me’ know the show’s been called of because of missing band members or something. Relax, kid.” 

Noodle relaxed her frown a little. “You are sure you can do it?” She asked. The men looked at each other again and smirked. “yeah, I reckon I can, kid.” Noodle bowed. “okay, then.” She walked off, leaving two slightly amused-looking security guards to do her job. 

She walked back to the car, and opened the door on her side. 2D looked a little less tense, and was now bopping along to the radio that the driver had put on. “Okay, the show has been called off. May we go back to the hotel, Sir?” The driver smiled wearily at Noodle. “Of course.” 

And off they went.

Still, Noodle thought as she stared at the high rises they drove past, that certainly wasn’t the strangest thing that had happened at a Gorillaz show. And everybody was safe, as far as she knew. This wasn’t the first time she’d seen Murdoc get arrested, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was longer than usual! I know i promised this would be fluffier, but i have a really fluffy chapter next, this just happened to be finished first.


	10. Maybe in Time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> El Manana.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The details surrounding El manana are all pretty complicated, so this chapter may contain inconsistencies with canon. This chapter is pretty much just a transition (pun intended) into phase 3/post-phase-2. Enjoy xx

Noodle stared up into the sky, in the general direction of the windmill island. They’d been over this a thousand times. She would act out like the island was crashing, then parachute off at the last second, to safety. That was the plan 2D and Russel knew. But Noodle had different ideas.

Perhaps it was irresponsible, to leave her family like this. To run away, leaving no answers as to her whereabouts. But in all honesty, Noodle was getting bored. She was a teenager, a teenager who wanted to learn and grow, and not much of that was happening trapped inside the smelly Gorillaz HQ that was Kong Studios. 

Noodle turned around to see 2D staring at the sky, his eyes slowly looking over each cloud. It was relatively clear today, they had chosen a great day to film. Next to 2D, about two steps to the left, stood Jamie Hewlett, who was reading to Murdoc from a checklist. 2D swivelled on his feet to look at the clouds behind him, and Noodle smiled. As much as she pretended to hate the boys in interviews, they had raised her, in their own strange way. They had supported her and her transition, which, really, was all she could ask for. 

Murdoc made his way over to Noodle. “Alright, love, everything’s in place. Are you ready?” He looked up at the island, and Noodle saw what looked like nervousness cross his face for a fleeting second. “I am.” She replied with an air of entirely false confidence. Murdoc looked at her for a few seconds, with a strange look on his face. “Look, Noodle, love. I know-uh-I haven’t really-uh-been the best at lookin’ after you,” He smoothed back his hair and realigned his standing position, “But I hope ya know that i do-uh-care about ya a lot.” He cringed and gave a forced grin. 

Noodle burst out laughing. 

“You act like i am going to die! No, Murdoc! I will be fine.” She looked at her feet. “I’m just, uh, taking a break, that’s all.” The trees blew in the wind as silence came over them. Murdoc opened his mouth to say something when a “Alright, it’s go time!” Came out of Jamie’s mouth, carried across the area by a megaphone. Noodle gave Murdoc a smile, and he returned it. 

She walked across to where 2D was standing, and Russel behind him. 2D was wringing his fingers nervously. “You promise tha’ you’ll be alrigh’, love?” The man squeaked out. She smiled and shook her head in false exasperation. “Of course, 2D. I’m a-ha-a big girl now. I’ll be fine”. She knew full well that she wouldn’t be seeing any of these people after the shoot, for she was going on her own little adventure. 2D ruffled the girl’s hair. “Go get em’.” He said loudly, and Russel laughed quietly behind him. 

Noodle turned to Russel, and gave him a thumbs up, which he returned. 

“Alright. Go time”. She muttered to herself. 

———————————————————————————————————————————  
Ten minutes later, Noodle was sitting on the edge of the windmill island, cameras panning around her. She glanced back into the windmill, smirking to herself. Jimmy freakin’ Manson was in there, and she knew it. She was safe. He had no weapons. Everything was fine. 

The music started playing, and Noodle swung her legs, partaking in peaceful activities like standing and letting a flower fall off the island. She heard Jimmy move around in the windmill, and smirked to herself. Bastard. 

The helicopters whirred towards her, and she feigned panic as they started shooting.

The world seemed to slow for a moment as she realised:

Wait a minute. Those aren’t the helicopters from the Feel Good Inc music video. 

As dirt flung up around her and gunfire started, Noodle ran. She saw a look of shock on Murdoc’s face as he realised that the helicopters were actually trying to shoot the island. She ran into the windmill and hid behind the door, peeking out at the helicopters that were destroying the island. 

This was supposed to be staged!

Noodle’s instincts had kicked in. The only important things right now were finishing the plan and making it off the island alive. Down below, 2D was screaming in terror, and Russel was gazing upwards, concerned. Jamie continued filming, with no clue that the plans had been thrown out the window at this point. Noodle’s life was in danger, and she knew it. 

The island continued burning, crashing down to earth, and Noodle knew she had to think fast. The music came to an end and she pulled on her parachute chord as the island crashed. The only thing she could feel was hot, blinding pain for a few seconds, before waking up in the wreckage. “Oh. I’m alive.” She said to herself quietly. She shook her head in an attempt to clear it, before surveying the wreckage. She watched everyone above the canyon walk over, and quickly, she grabbed her bags from the wreckage and ran out of the area. 

“Ah. Now, to the Maldives.’


	11. Stuart the Bird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noodle finds an injured bird by her home in the Maldives, and decides to nurse the gentle creature back to health.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite fluffy with undertones of angst!

There was a slight wind in the air at the edge of the beach, and if you looked out to sea, you would see a young woman in a fishing boat, just floating around. Her dark hair had grown somewhat in the past year, and she liked it-She’d never had very long hair before, and it made her feel much more feminine now it was grown. 

The wind was beginning to pick up, and the little boat started rocking. Noodle held on to the metal sides as she grabbed a paddle and turned around to head back to shore, the waves carrying her. It was a peaceful day, the small beach on which she lived was almost empty, and Noodle appreciated it immensely. Her holiday had been absolutely perfect, but she felt as though it would be coming to an end soon. The girl would soon have a new purpose, a new mission. 

The band was calling to her again.

Goddamnit. 

Finally, she made it to shore, and pulled her boat into the sand, effectively bogging it on purpose. She took a moment to feel the sand between her toes, feel the breeze of her face, and hear the birds in the trees. Noodle had become much more mindful lately, the relaxed vibe of the Maldives allowing her to practice meditation and become-she hated to say it-one with the earth. 

She smiled softly at the birds on the beach, all white and fluffy and looking out for some kind of food. Noodle gave a soft laugh as one tripped over it’s own feet. Clumsy bugger. The little seagull looked up at Noodle and tilted it’s head, almost like it was asking her something. She moved towards it, and it seemed startled, stumbling backwards and attempting to fly away, only to be stopped by a tree directly above it’s tiny head. It fell to the ground with a soft sound of impact. 

“Oh, dear! Silly little thing.” The Japanese girl cooed as the seagull squirmed, it’s wings clearly damaged from either the tree-based impact or the subsequent fall. She made her way over to the bird, which was looking up at her with an air of annoyance. She had seen that exact same look in 2D before, the “I just fell and I’m bloody sick of this happening to me” stare that she knew so well. She slowly reached out to stroke the bird, and it made a weak attempt to hop away, but it wasn’t fast enough, and Noodle scooped it up. The bird allowed her to with little protest, so Noodle stood up with the bird and made her way to her beach-side hut. 

The bird continued to look up at her, and Noodle smiled in response to it’s annoyed expression. “I’m going to call you Stuart Birdy.” She smiled at the bird, then almost immediately cringed as she felt a wet half-liquid run down her hand and wrist. “Argh! Disgusting.” She quietly remarked, opening the door to her cabin and pulling it closed with her foot. 

Noodle looked around her room. She didn’t have much on her island home, just a small but comfortable bed, her guitar, a cellphone, a radio and her boat. Her cabin also had a kitchen and bathroom, with all the basics. She looked around her bedroom for something to make a nest of some kind out of. 

The girl grabbed a piece of cloth from a cupboard, placing it in a drawer by her bed. The bird looked at her curiously, and tilted it’s tiny head again. Noodle gave it a smirk as she placed tissue on top of the fluffy cloth. "I’ve got to wash my hand now, thanks to you." The girl said, putting Stuart Bird down and moving towards the bathroom. 

She stared into the bathroom mirror as she lathered her hands with soap in an attempt to rid herself of the disgusting white liquid all over her hand. Noodle noticed her jawline, how delicate it was, a far cry from the sharp, masculine-framed rigidness of her early teenage years. Oestrogen had been a blessing, but also extremely difficult to acquire, and difficult to keep acquiring as she traveled to different countries. Different places had different drug regulations, but so far, she’d been lucky. 

Plus, she had other sources if she had to resort to them. Murdoc had certainly taught her a thing or two. 

Noodle dried her hands and turned back to her bedroom as she heard a light chirping noise coming from her bedside table. She smirk to herself. "Hey, little birdy, are you doing okay?" She asked, crouching down and looking at it’s wings. 

The young woman headed to another cupboard and got out a first-aid kit. "This should help you feel better..." she muttered as she took out a salve and applied it to a cut on the bird’s wing. It made a small squeaking nose as she applied it, and she cringed, as it was clearly in mild pain. "Hey, hey, it’s okay, birdy-大丈夫、小さな赤ちゃん." She spoke soothingly. 

Time passed quickly as she watched over the bird, knowing that it’s chance of survival was dependent on both her actions and the bird’s health. She was extremely worried about Stuart Bird dying of shock, but after ten minutes, it’s shivers of fear had calmed down a little, and half an hour later, they had almost stopped. 

Noodle eventually took out a book and begun reading to her new friend. As silly as it felt, she though it might calm him down if her voice was a constant for him. She read several passages of The Secret Garden; the bird appearing to listen as it allowed it’s head to rest slowly. 

This situation was all too familiar for Noodle. When she was just 14, while creating the foundations for Demon Days all alone in Kong Studios, she had found a tiny baby bird on her windowsill, clearly injured and in shock. She had taken the bird in and attempted with all her might to make it better, but it succumbed to it’s injuries in the night. 

The girl had been devastated, and although she would have never admitted it at the time, a few tears had fallen for the little bird she had grown so attached to. And she knew, that by bonding with this new bird, she was likely digging herself into the same hole. But she really couldn’t care less as her gentle, caring side took over. 

As she finished up chapter two of The Secret Garden, her voice became a little scratchy, and Noodle decided she needed a break. She patted the bird’s little head, it’s orange beak pecking her finger a little bit, and stepped outside, fumbling in her pocket for a packet of cigarettes and a lighter. 

Smoking was a terrible habit, she knew that, but she certainly could have picked up worse habits from the household she had grown up in. Besides, she only smoked occasionally, not everyday like Murdoc used to. Or still did. It was funny to think that they were all out there somewhere. 

She received postcards and letters quite often, mostly from Russel, with the others signing at the bottom. Occasionally, she’d receive a full-length essay from Murdoc about everything that had been happening to him lately, or a short but sweet letter from 2D detailing some random thing he had encountered that day. Noodle always made the time to reply to each letter, often putting a native flower or an interestingly-shaped stone in the envelope, which had resulted in more than it’s fair share of custom’s issues. 

As the sun started going down, Noodle took a long drag from her cigarette and blew the smoke into the air, watching it twirl around as it mixed with the purer air. She stared out over the sea and wondered exactly what was happening to her old band right now. 

The teenager then stepped back inside, cursing at herself internally for smoking, knowing full well she was really far too young to be engaging in behaviour like that. 

Stuart the bird looked up at her once again, the dim light highlighting the small injury on his face. It was nothing that wouldn’t heal, and Noodle knew that, but still she worried for the small, fragile creature. 

There was another Stuart she was very worried about right now. He was off somewhere, living his own life without the band. Staying in fancy places in fancy cities and eating fancy foods, all on his own. A man who had previously needed Noodle or Russel’s help to talk to, well, anyone was now out in the big world, where anyone could and would take advantage of him. It was silly of Noodle to think of him like a younger brother, she’s only sixteen, he’s going to be thirty soon for God’s sake. But the level of help 2D needed always made him seem different to everyone. 

There was a soft fluttering in the drawer, and Noodle brought her attention back to the bird, who was still looking up at her curiously. She smiled and brought a hand towards Stuart Bird, waiting for any negative reaction before gently stroking the creature’s face. There was a soft humming underneath the bird’s skin that was very much alive, and in the morning, he still was. His wings weren’t quite healed yet, but soon, he would be ready to fly back to his home, wherever that was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sjjudunjenjndejbdnjejd c h e e s y


	12. A Casio on a plastic beach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When noodle received the letter, she’d be lying if she said her heart wasn’t a little bit shattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh it’s time to ~transition~ into phase 3 uwu

Noodle can’t say she was completely surprised when she received the letter, standing on the beach one morning, her long-ish hair around her shoulders with a little flower in. 

It had been, what, six weeks since she’d received any signs of life from one Murdoc A. Niccals, and she wasn’t exactly super concerned-it happened sometimes, he’d go off on a bender and not tell anyone where he was or what he was doing. Not that he had to tell her, anyway. She’s 17, almost 18, she doesn’t need him. Not really. She doesn’t even miss him. 

Except sometimes she does. 

Sometimes, when it’s late at night, memories will flood into her brain. Memories of horrible, terrible things. Waking up in the middle of the night to a quiet crying outside her door, followed by a sharp-sounding punch noise, and the soft collapse of an innocent man who couldn’t defend himself. 

Murdoc is a monster, she knows that, she does. 

But he was never a monster to her, was he? 

Noodle remembered waking up in the night and walking downstairs, barely even 13, her small feet tip-toeing through Kong studios as quietly as possible, and coming across Murdoc, standing in the corridor, as though he couldn’t see her. Staring right through her. An almost lost look on his face, a far cry from the usual expression of ignorance and self-righteousness that almost always inhabited the man. 

He had turned away from her slowly, staring into the moonlight that was shining through a tiny window, and she had cautiously walked up to him, scared to startle him even though he was already very aware of her presence. She had walked up to him, stood next to him. Expected to be pushed away, to be told to fuck off back to her bedroom, that he’s busy. 

But instead, he just stood there, his breathing slow and heavy, the usual smell of alcohol, dirtiness and something else she could never recognise surrounding him, but it was different. He seemed calm, he wasn’t angry. He was just there.

Eventually, a sound came from his mouth. A quiet huff, followed by an uncharacteristically soft whisper. "It’s a bit late for you to be up at this time, isn’t it, love?" He said, his eyes still locked on the window. 

Noodle shifted her feet a little, humming her acknowledgment of his statement quietly. 

"Let’s get you back up to bed, then." The man said, finally turning back to face Noodle, giving her a gentle slap on the shoulder and steering her back through the hallway. The girl walked with him, not a word exchanged, just their quiet breathing. No shouting, no crying, no beer bottles or the smell of red wine on his breath. Just Noodle and Murdoc, walking through the dark, dingey hallways of Kong studios. 

At last, they had arrived at Noodle’s bedroom, and Murdoc opened the door for her, and she stepped through the doorway, and she laid her head on her pillow. Murdoc stood awkwardly at her door. He leaned against the frame and looked at his feet, Noodle looking up at him for a good five seconds with the most neutral expression she could muster. The silence was almost overwhelming. 

Finally, Murdoc walked over to her bed and switched off her light with the gentle push of his long finger, before ruffling her hair and smiling slightly. "Night, Kid." He said softly, walking out of the room, his unusually quiet footsteps echoing through the hallway. 

Noodle slept really, really well that night. Because maybe that was an inch, or a tiny minuscule example of how it felt to have a father. Just maybe. Maybe. But that was something she’d never know for sure. If Murdoc was sober, maybe she would have grown up experiencing that. But he wasn’t, and she hadn’t. 

But even if she wasn’t surprised to have received the letter, it still really fucking hurt.

It had been an otherwise perfect day in her new home, the perfect paradise. What a bloody shame she’d noticed her tiny, handmade mailbox had a letter in it, addressed to her and in a bright, sickeningly pink envelope.

She opened it, recognising the handwriting as Murdoc’s immediately. 

To whom it may concern, 

Hello, fuckwits and bastards. 

If you’ve been sent this, it’s because you were on my list of "people who’d care". 

Right now, I don’t seem to care about much, really. I still have some kind of responsibility for this band, though. Which is why I’m terribly sorry to have to tell you that Kong studios, unfortunately, tragically, was burnt down in a fire. How fucking depressing, I know, I know. 

It was a terrible accident. Not much was left of it anyway, to be fair. It was only the ruins that were left. 

I hope you’re all doing well, wherever you are. I’m off again on another bloody adventure, suckers. Have fun. 

Signed, (king) Murdoc Niccals

Noodle had held the letter with shaky hands, refusing to allow any tears to fall. She knew what had really happened. She knew that he’d run out of money and burned down Kong. She knew, inside, he had never cared about her, or any of them. She was just his guitarist. 

But other parts of her were more than disappointed and angry, they were worried. Murdoc’s usually neat handwriting was an almost intelligible drawl of letters, with several wine stains on the paper that had clearly been ripped straight out of a notepad. There weren’t any jokes in an attempt to be witty, just a straight-forward, mad-sounding monologue that left Noodle wondering what he was going to do next.

She would soon find herself wishing she hadn’t wondered that


	13. Dysphoria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noodle feels so wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angstangstangst

Noodle was on a journey, she had a goal to achieve, and she was achieving it. She was on a search to find plastic beach, save 2D and, quite possibly, kill Murdoc in cold blood. It really wasn’t an unlikely end goal for this mission, based on the unrivalled rage and disappointment she currently had for her father figure. The journey certainly wasn’t too rough, however, at least not yet. The boat she was on was very pleasant, with butlers and fancy folk all over the place, and her bedroom was very comfortable. 

But her fucking dysphoria just wouldn’t leave her alone. 

She swallowed her required dose of estrogen and stared at herself in the mirror, a determined loom on her face. This was her body, this vessel of skin and bones was hers, and she would not cry over it. 

Definitely. 

She pushed her purple hair over her shoulder and noticed that her roots were growing out again and that she should really get around to re-dying it. If Murdoc was here, he’d probably say she was going through a teenage angst phase. But she wasn’t, not really. She didn’t have time for that. 

Just like she didn’t have time for crying over things she couldn’t change. 

The hormones had made her face much more feminine, she noted, as she turned around in the mirror. It’s not like she’d progressed far into male puberty, anyway, she passed pretty damn well, if she’s honest. She flicked her hair and made a face into the mirror when she saw how girly she looked. 

Then she just laughed and threw up a couple of rock ‘n roll signs, sticking out her tongue and smiling into her mirror. She span around and wiped a single tear from her face. She was okay just as she was. 

But she didn’t feel like that all the time. Not when it’s 2am, and she’s crying in front of the mirror, like the opposite of the bad-ass independent woman she portrays herself as, and her face is puffy, and she feels wrong.

Just so damn wrong. 

She doesn’t have Russel to talk to about it anymore. She couldn’t tip-toe into his room at night and have him hug her, call her his baby girl, make a cup of tea and tell her she’s just as fantastic as any other little girl. And he would put on that "proud father face", push her hair back and tell her she’s going to be a fantastic woman. She couldn’t just tell him how she was feeling like that anymore, not in the middle of the ocean. God knows where Russ is anyway.

She no longer had 2D to hug her and ruffle her hair and say something she didn’t understand but sounds really sweet. She didn’t have Murdoc’s crude jokes that always made her laugh when she was feeling dysphoric.

She had nobody, now, and it made the pain hurt so much more. 

She was independent now, and she really, truly did love it. Being free and detached from the band, having a life of her own beyond what she had before. No more chains. But now, 2D was in trouble, and she’d been pulled back into the goddamn mess murdoc had made. 

The young woman turned away from the mirror and headed towards her private ensuite bathroom, finding herself face to face with yet another mirror, at which she rolled her eyes. She poked out her tongue and smiled at the mirror, making a couple of pointless silly faces like she used to do with 2D in an attempt to make him laugh (it always worked), just for fun. She pushed her hair over her shoulder and twisted her arms around to unzip her rather...interesting dress. She pulled the fabric off of herself and removed her thigh-high socks, pulling them off like snakeskins and throwing them onto the dirty laundry pile in the corner. She looked at herself in the mirror, her tiny frame, covered in scars and bruises from something she’d rather not talk about. But she’d get over it eventually, although she would never get over Murdoc’s sickening, but predictable betrayal. 

He’d really screwed up this time. 

She took off her underwear and took one last glance at herself in the mirror, a steel face, not allowing her dysphoria to get the best of her. Then Noodle immediately turned to the shower and began to wash off the blood and dirt from today’s round of pirate attacks. Fuckin’ pirates”, she muttered under her breath as the water cascaded down her shoulders. 

She went through the motions as smoothly ass possible, washing her body, face, scrubbing the blood from her skin so she could feel a little more pure and a little less sickened. 

She heard a knock at the door through the rushing sound of the shower, probably the Butler bringing her her dinner. He was such a sweet man, really, so dedicated to his job and the people on the boat. She had grown fond of the man lately, his greeting of "Good morning, madam" and his soft smile. 

God, she really was lonely, wasn’t she?

She took a bar of soap and scrubbed it across her face. Wasn’t loneliness part of the job, really? Out in the middle of the ocean, you feel lonely regardless of the density of your company. There’s something about staring into the nothingness of the ocean, yet knowing that there is so much life right below your feet. 

She wondered how 2D felt, out there in the middle of the ocean, sitting in his little room. She wasn’t stupid, she’d seen the camera footage on the website, she knew what was going on. She wanted to be there for 2D, tell him he’d be okay, that it would all be over soon. 

Of course, she was in the middle of the ocean, and so was he. But there is a lot of ocean between them. 

Noodle finally finished showering, stepping out with one foot, then the other onto the luxury bathmat. It was a far cry from the place she’d spent her late teenage years before now, on an island in the Bahamas, travelling and living a simple life surrounded by nature. Everything in the boat was sterile. Her estrogen pills never spoiled in the hot sun, she never had to toss them away. She didn’t have to worry about sand getting inside, since there is no sand around her, except that at the bottom of the deep, dark ocean. 

The girl shook her hair and wrapped a towel around her head, wrapping a second around her pale body, putting toothpaste on her light pink toothbrush and beginning the familiar movement of tooth brushing. 

Everyday things like showering and dressing and eating and brushing her teeth somehow made it all a little more bearable. The normal, mundane things the girl was used to. It helped her forget how abnormal her life was. 

Noodle spat into the sink and walked back into her room, pulling her laptop out and sitting on her bed. Whoever had knocked at the door was long gone now, which was a good thing, she thought, as she pulled up a tab on Male-to-female surgeries she’d been looking at getting. She’d never really felt the need for bottom surgery, she could tuck easily enough and she wasn’t really bothered, but she’d always wanted facial feminisation surgery. 

Everyday she would look in the mirror and see the remnants of her male birth gender, her sharp jaw and other features that nobody else noticed. And she knew it, truly, that nobody on the street noticed her more masculine features, because they probably weren’t even there. She wouldn’t be surprised if she was imagining these things, or if her mind made them seem worse than they are. 

But still, she felt the pain of being born in a body she knew was hers, but still felt so wrong.

Perhaps, one day, she wouldn’t feel like that anymore


	14. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue, phase six.

"Please, for the love of sweet Satan, shut up!"

The shout echoed through the room but did little to dampen the spirits of it’s inhabitants, as they danced around to the soundtrack of the rocky horror show, spinning themselves around and around to the sound of music that was nit to be taken seriously. Just how they liked it. 

Noodle was holding 2D’s skinny hands and spinning him around, he was laughing and making an attempt to sing along to the soundtrack. Noodle and 2D continued heir frenzied dance before collapsing in a heap on the floor, laughter filling the air even more than it had before. 

Russel watched on from the kitchen and smirked at them, looking over at Murdoc who, Russel didn’t fail to notice, was also smiling, albeit slightly. "What’s the occasion?" Russel asked, his smile widening as Noodle met his eyes and smiled an even broader smile. 

She stood up and offered a hand out to 2D, who gratefully accepted, and walked towards the stained, less-than-ideal couch. She patted the spot next to her, motioning for the other band Mainers to sit beside her. They each took seats around her, confused and still smirking at the elated look on Noodle’s face. 

Noodle took a deep breath in excitement, before spitting out, "I’m getting bottom surgery! I know it sounds stupid to announce and be so excited about, but this is-"

Two green arms wrapped around her, and she was surprised when she heard the owner of said arms sound a little teary as he spoke. "I’m so...I’m honestly pretty damn proud of you, love." He said. Russel had gotten up from his armchair and leant down to noodle’s level, enveloping her in one of his warm dad hugs. 

The sweet moment came to an abrupt end when 2D’s sneaky voice let out a "what’s a bottom surgery? Is it to, like, enlarge ya’ bum or somethin’? Why would you wan’ tha’ anywya, Noodle? You’re always talkin’ about natural beauty and all tha’."

Murdoc let out a low chuckle, before Russel glared at him. Noodle looked at 2D and smiled. "No, ‘D, bottom surgery is, uh...surgery down there." She gestured vaguely to her crotch area and 2D nodded. She loved how he was always unaware when something was an awkward topic. His openness always brought a new level to a conversation. 

"Ah, like turnin’ boy bits into girl bits kinda’ fing?" He asked, tilting his head. Noodle chuckled at his response and nodded. "Yeah, you’ve pretty much got it in one there, ‘D." She said between increasingly severe fits of laughter, which had quickly began to spread to everyone else in the form of growing and contagious smiles. 

2D walked up to the couch and hugged her from behind, his long arms dangling over her, before ruffling her hair. 

"We’re all so happy for you, love." Said Murdoc. 

Noodle felt so at home in that moment, so accepted, she teared up wondering what on earth she did to deserve such a loving family. 

And then she remembered the hell she went through to get it. 

And it made her even more grateful.


End file.
